I may be the mother of four boys, two of which are already out on their own, but I still find myself needing to be reminded to focus on what is REALLY important and not on all the details and distractions of every day life.  Details may be important; projects may be important, goals may be important, but PEOPLE and RELATIONSHIPS are the most important of all.

Why am I saying all of this on THIS subject at the beginning of the school year?  Because whether it is right now or sometime in the future, YOU as a home school parent WILL be tempted to lose sight of what is REALLY important.  You will get bogged down in chores, in curriculum choices, in math not being done, in the fear of future educational choices for your children, in the myriad of outside activities that you have to choose from, in peer pressure from friends and family and a host of other distractions.  It is at that precise moment that you need to remember to “Savor the moment; and cherish the Child.”

A short time ago, I published a book entitled, “Beginning With the End in Mind.”  The principle of beginning a project with the end goal in mind, whether it is cleaning the kitchen, or homeschooling your children, can be a principle that can make or break the outcome of your efforts.  I want to encourage you to begin this year of homeschooling with the end in mind.  What are the things that are most important for you to accomplish with your children this year?  Take the time to journal your thoughts even if it is necessary to do your journaling “stream of consciousness style.  Take some real time to do this before you jump into your curriculum choices.  As you begin to write, you MAY find yourself listing educational goals, but more often than not, the more you journal, the more you will begin to focus on those more eternal aspects of homeschooling:  relationships, character, experience, and so much more.  Write these things out and spend time meditating on ways that perhaps you need to adjust your methodology or way of thinking to focus on what is more important.

If I know WHAT God has called me to do with my children and what HE considers most important, then the choices, questions and concerns that will come up through this school year and through school years to come will be easier to answer.  If I know that our goal with our children is to build character, then that will affect what extracurricular activities and even what classes and teachers I allow my children to interact with.  If I have spent time in relationship with my children, and I know their strengths, weaknesses and areas of interest that will help me determine my choices for them.  If I’m “in this for the long haul”, I will find myself not easily swayed by every fad of education that comes along and every educational opportunity that presents itself.  By knowing my desired end result, I will not be as tempted to sway from the path God has put me on and I will trust His sovereignty to provide ways for my children to receive all that they need to receive on the path HE has put us on.

Let me just give you a quick example.  Recently, my husband and I talked with a long-time home school mom.  Over the years, I considered her a “long-timer”, in other words, based on her goals for her children; I didn’t believe she would ever consider any educational alternative other than homeschooling.  However, with a son facing the beginning of high school, she began to worry that she would not be able to give him all that he needed to be successful in college and as an adult.  My husband’s question to her was:  “What has changed between the time you began homeschooling and this moment in time?…. Have your goals changed?….or are you allowing fear to influence your goals and vision for your children.”  When the conversation ended, this mother realized that she had lost sight of her “desired end result” and was focusing too much on HER abilities and the conversations of those around her.

In other words, if God has called you to home school, then it doesn’t matter if your child wants to be a rancher or a doctor, God will provide all that you AND your child needs for him/her to become all that God has called him to be.  Sure we need to consider opportunities and be flexible in our approach, but too often we think that God is able to provide for our child in every area EXCEPT homeschooling.

I wish I had an hour to sit with you and tell you miracle after miracle I have seen with my two older sons who are now out on their own.  How there were times that I was SO tempted to do something that I KNEW was not the right path but that I thought would be a BETTER path than me trusting God to provide for them.  I thank God for a husband who has continually, over our 17 years of homeschooling, reminded me of our “desired end result” for our boys and how the vision of that goal has kept me moving forward and trusting God.

Homeschooling is such a privilege and such an opportunity to be the gatekeeper for our children and to train them to be the gatekeepers of their own hearts and minds.  The relationships built through homeschooling are eternal.  The character built through homeschooling is culture changing, and the Biblical Worldview and personal relationship with their Savior is of utmost importance.  Keeping these things in mind, keep me moving forward.

When my third son was a toddler, I remember him standing at the top of the staircase one day.  As he stood there, he began to do the toddler sway. You know the one!  That unsteady sway back and forth that toddlers do before they topple over and fall down.  I was across the room but I can assure you that I didn’t stop to think about how tired I was, or how many steps I had to climb quickly, or how heavy he was to pick up.  NO!  I ran across the room, bounded up the steps and grabbed him in my arms before he toppled down the stairs.  My goal?…. to keep him from harm and to allow him to continue to grow to be all he was to become.

Homeschooling is the same way!  IF I have my goals and my vision of my grown children firmly established in my mind……..(the picture of how the individuals they will be when they leave my home and begin their own lives), then the daily trials of life, the distractions, and the details, will not be as apt to drive me crazy and tempt me to choose another path.  The goal that God has called me to becomes more important than the unknown, the details, and the distractions. I can more easily relax in God’s sovereignty and be the mother He has called me to be by “Savoring the moment, and Cherishing the child.”

Faith and Courage,

Lori Lane